Message for the Week from Rabbi Stein

Quality Friends

Rabbi Jay M. Stein

Wednesday, October 18, 2017 at 12:00:00 am

Mishna Avot 1:7

Nittai of Arbel taught; Keep far from an evil neighbor; be not a partner with an evil person; never despair the retribution of the wicked. (Mishna Avot 1:7)

In last week’s installment I suggested that friends are important.  We cannot go it alone. This week I dial back that suggestion and offer a correction. Everyone needs good friends.  Rather, everyone needs friends that are good.  I have often remarked, “if you are the smartest of all of your friends, you need to get a few new friends.”   We need to surround ourselves with people who challenge us to be better, to be more open minded, to be more kind. We need to surround ourselves with people who gently guide us.  Unfortunately, because true, honest, sincere, deliberate friendships are so hard to come by we are willing to accept any that are offered. 

This week’s course correction suggests we ought to be more selective.  We have to find people who will elevate us not drag us down. The people we associate with are our compass and if their direction is off, our perspective will be as well.  We evaluate ourselves in comparison to those around us and morality ought never be relative.   Start with high quality people and then demand more from them. One last piece of advice this week, good luck finding them – they are hard to come by and if have already, don’t let them go so easily.


One Part Study, One Part Prayer, One Part Kindness

Rabbi Jay M. Stein

Tuesday, October 3, 2017 at 12:00:00 am

Shimon HaTzadik was one of the last members of the Great Assembly, This is was a favorite teaching of his: The world rests on three things - on Torah, on service to God (prayer), on deeds of loving kindness. (Mishna Avot 1:2)  

When my son was a small boy we would take him for his regular visit to his pediatrician.  Each time I had a list of concerns and questions.  I was a new parent and was trying to navigate this complicated world of parenting.  One particular visit I was distraught over the fact that I could not get him to eat vegetables at every meal.  Some days he would eat them and some days he would not.  I was very concerned he did not have a balanced diet and he was missing out on necessary vitamins and nutrients.  Our pediatrician simply remarked that he was confident that over the course of a week our son was getting everything he needed.

The same is true of our lives.  We need to balance all of the varied requirements made on us.  We must find a way to get the spiritual nutrients required, offered, suggested by our tradition. A daily dose of each would be great but if that is not possible then at least over the course of a week we ought to find time to nourish our spiritual life fully.  To which our Mishna asks us to add one part study, one part prayer, and one part acts of kindness.  If we can find a way to live by this formula we can construct a more meaningful life.   


You are not Weak, You are Human

Rabbi Jay M. Stein

Saturday, September 23, 2017 at 12:00:00 am

They sacrificed to demons, no gods. Gods they had never known. New ones, who came but lately. Who stirred not your fathers' fears. (Deuteronomy 32:17)

Everyone has something that keeps them up at night, at some point in their lives.  Maybe as children, it is an upcoming test.  Maybe as an adult, it is how will we provide for our families. For some, our sleep is easily disturbed, others seem more stoic. No matter, everyone has something that haunts them at some point.  It might be something you regret or something you fear will happen.   Some face those fears head-on while others run away from them. This doesn't mean you are weak. It means you are human.

At this time of year we all feel our frailty. If we take the words of our High Holiday prayer book seriously, we cannot help but be bothered by the challenges the words offer. If we permit our souls to wonder at all, they may walk into the darkness.  You are not alone.  Even though those demons aren't real, they are no less frightening.