Message for the Week from Rabbi Stein

Who is in Control?

Rabbi Jay M. Stein

Tuesday, July 10, 2018 at 12:00:00 am

Mishna Avot 3:15

EVERYTHING IS FORESEEN BUT THE RIGHT OF CHOICE IS GRANTED, AND THE WORLD IS JUDGED WITH GOODNESS, AND EVERYTHING IS IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE PREPONDERANCE OF MAN'S DEEDS.

I wish I knew what was going to happen. I wish I knew how my life would unfold and what would become of my family, friends and career. I have some ideas about the future based on my current trajectory, but there are many potential outcomes.  And there are still many variables for which I cannot account. This is not just my story but everyone’s. Or is it?

Do we really want to know what lies ahead?  Do we really want to know how our story will develop?  Or is watching the narrative advance, one of the great wonders in life?  Anticipation can be energizing. I can envision the many possibilities for my future, for my family’s, our congregation’s. I am excited by what can be. If I knew the reality, I might be a little less inclined towards working to it. I might be less  involved in attaining the outcome. Not knowing keeps me engaged.

As always our Mishna offers us a choice. We can live in dread of what will be; or we can openly embrace the infinite possibilities of the world that we are creating with God.

  

Self Love

Rabbi Jay M. Stein

Thursday, July 5, 2018 at 12:00:00 am

Mishna Avot 3:14 

HE , Rabbi Akiba, [ALSO] USED TO SAY: BELOVED IS MAN IN THAT HE WAS CREATED IN THE IMAGE [OF GOD]. [IT IS A MARK OF] SUPERABUNDANT LOVE [THAT] IT WAS MADE KNOWN TO HIM THAT HE HAD BEEN CREATED IN THE IMAGE [OF GOD], AS IT IS SAID: FOR IN THE IMAGE OF GOD MADE HE MAN.

BELOVED ARE ISRAEL IN THAT THEY WERE CALLED CHILDREN OF THE ALL-PRESENT. [IT WAS A MARK OF] SUPERABUNDANT LOVE [THAT] IT WAS MADE KNOWN TO THEM THAT THEY WERE CALLED CHILDREN OF THE ALL-PRESENT, AS IT IS SAID: YE ARE CHILDREN OF THE LORD YOUR GOD. BELOVED ARE ISRAEL IN THAT A DESIRABLE INSTRUMENT WAS GIVEN TO THEM. [IT WAS A MARK OF] SUPERABUNDANT LOVE [THAT] IT WAS MADE KNOWN TO THEM THAT THE DESIRABLE INSTRUMENT, WHEREWITH THE WORLD HAD BEEN CREATED, WAS GIVEN TO THEM, AS IT IS SAID: FOR I GIVE YOU GOOD DOCTRINE FORSAKE NOT MY TEACHING.

Each of us is highly critical of ourselves, be it our appearance or our behavior. Some of us do it publicly with self-deprecating remarks; some of us do it in front of the mirror as we analyze every curve; some do it in the subconscious, second guessing every decision.  Every person seeks a path towards perfection.  Self-help books abound. Meditative practices explode; diets are invented every day. All in the hopes of being able to overcome our own personally perceived inadequacies. Our Mishna says you have a mistaken premise.

Each of us can improve.  Growth is a natural requirement of life. But the foundation must be a love of self, not self-loathing.  Know you are child of the Almighty.  Know you are great because you come from Greatness.  Know you are of the highest quality already because it is coded in your genes (and value doesn’t come from the way you look in jeans).

The repetitive nature of this Mishna only reinforces the point that we should regularly revisit our own value until we understand and accept it.  Daily, we should affirm this idea, God knows we spend enough time doing the opposite.

  

Fences

Rabbi Jay M. Stein

Saturday, June 23, 2018 at 12:00:00 am

Mishna Avot 3:13 

AKIBA SAID: JESTING AND LIGHT-HEADEDNESS LEAD A MAN ON TO LEWDNESS; TRADITION IS A FENCE TO THE TORAH; TITHES [FORM] A FENCE TO WEALTH, VOWS A FENCE TO SELF-RESTRAINT; A FENCE TO WISDOM IS SILENCE.

The book “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie” is a wonderful children’s story about a mouse who starts to eat a cookie; he becomes distracted by the crumbs;  while cleaning the crumbs he is distracted by something else; and before you know it he has forgotten about the cookie until he has comes full circle, to all he wants is a cookie.

The same is true of our lives.  We often get distracted and lose sight of the really important things. We start working on our marriage;  then we start a career.  We start working on our career;  then the kids come along.  We get started on our parenting;  then the children grow up and move out.  Next thing you know we are back to our marriage.  The problem is, if we haven’t done the work on it all along, sometimes we don’t even have that.  

Our Mishna reminds us that often one thing leads to another. If we are to secure the really important things in life, then we need to safe-guard them. We need to create models of behavior to insure that we protect our core values and distance ourselves from distractions.