D'var Torah

Heshvan-Kislev 5765

Handing Down and Handing Over

Last month, Judi and I were invited to join friends for a public lecture at the 92nd Street Y in Manhattan. Featured were two world-class cookbook authors, Joan Nathan and Phyllis Glazer. They spoke of their careers as researchers and writers and each spoke of their being drawn into the field quite by accident. Joan Nathan began speaking of her own experience learning to cook (she had a pre-nup that provided her with a cook) and Phyllis Glazer spoke of her own mother’s expertise in baking and assuring that she, Phyllis learn how to follow in her footsteps. “I learned to braid my hair by learning how to braid hallah.” During the Q & A that followed the formal program, Nathan began to reflect on her experience this past Yom Kippur at the Vineyard. Her own synagogue experience there was profoundly uplifting, her most powerful life-experience of Yom Kippur. She noted, however, that some of those who were there spent their time at the beach and in the water and not in the synagogue. She asked, “Just what are they handing down to their children? What example are they setting? There are many things that we parents do, not because we like to do them, but because we have to. If we do not hand over traditions to our children, who will?”

There are rich traditions of food, as with Thanksgiving (and as we have experienced through the holidays just passed); there are traditions of how families eat that make each family different, unique, and special. There are family ways and practices that enhance and enrich a child’s development and the bringing of that child into the greater circle of extended family and community. There are activities we as adults may not particularly enjoy (I am not great fan of roller coasters) but we accompany our children to teach them not to be afraid, to share their excitement, and to be a supportive parent (and there are some rather interesting photographic reminders in the albums at our house). We may not all be comfortable with Judaism, the synagogue or Jewish “stuff,” but if we do not hand it down and hand it over, who will? Bring your children (and grandchildren) and join us for Friday night services, or Saturday morning, or for any of our holiday programs. Bring a dimension of Judaism you have not yet experienced into your home and into your family activities. Hand it down and hand it over with love, with devotion, and with an eye to the Jewish future.

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